As soon as you realize your husband has been texting, calling or having conversations too often with a female coworker, doubt and worry begin to cloud your mind.
His behavior seems suspicious, especially if he is communicating with her outside of the workplace and outside of work hours.
When every notification on his phone brings another burst of anxiety over your marriage, you need to do something quickly to bring your relationship back to a place of positivity and trust.
Download a free copy of The Marriage Repair Handbook, a guide specifically for couples looking for ways to improve their marriage. Also, visit our resources page for additional ways to rekindle the spark in your marriage.
This article addresses the below concerns:
- My Husband is Texting a Female Coworker
- My Husband is Secretive with his Phone
- My Husband Is Too Friendly with a Female Coworker
In a healthy marriage, each spouse has their own friends or mutual friends they communicate with regularly. Often times, these can be coworkers and can be of the opposite sex.
The occasional work-related text or call from a coworker is expected, if they are working on a project together or figuring out schedule arrangements.
However, when there is frequent communication and suspicions arise, you should ask for more information. Ask questions before your mind fills with negative assumptions.
Avoid Interrogations but Ask Important Questions
Ask questions like, “What Things Would You Consider a Betrayal of Trust?” and “Have You Ever Done Those Things during Our Marriage?” Also, share your answers to those same questions, so that he’s aware of your thoughts and feelings.
Let him know how you feel about his interaction with his female coworker and in what ways you believe his behavior is inappropriate.
Does he leave the room or turn away when a text comes in? Has he changed the password on his phone? Does he work more hours or spend more time outside of work with his female coworker?
If you don’t feel at ease with his answers, ask him “How Can We Increase Trust and Transparency?” Try reading the content of the texts or listening in on their conversations. If they are talking about a work project, the communication may be perfectly innocent.
If the communication is about more than work, ask him how he would feel if the situation were reversed. If you, as the wife, was texting a male coworker, how would your husband feel?
If his answers don’t align with his actions or if you feel he’s being dishonest, express your concerns. Your concerns should be addressed and your communication within your marriage should improve.
How to Strengthen the Communication in Your Marriage
Sometimes, you need to be blunt about your fears and concerns. Keep the lines of communication open, and work through the issue rather than jumping to conclusions.
Don’t prevent your husband from having friends or communicating with coworkers about work-related topics.
If your husband is frequently texting a female coworker or becoming too friendly with her, don’t lose faith in his honesty and dedication to your marriage.
Re-establish or maintain trust by setting boundaries together and sticking to them. Decide which behaviors are inappropriate for each spouse and stay within those boundaries. Respecting boundaries shows a commitment to your spouse and your marriage.
Through expressions of commitment and respect, both of you can create a foundation of support, love and friendship.
For more tips and techniques to strengthen your marriage, download a free copy of our eBook, The Marriage Repair Handbook or visit our resources page.