The answer to this question, “How Long is too Long Without Sex?” varies for everyone. It’s common for couples to go through dry spells when it comes to sex.
Common reasons for dry spells include pregnancies, postpartum recovery, stress and depression. Raising small children and having demanding careers also contribute to dry spells in relationships.
Most couples have sex 1-2 times per week, while 15 to 20 percent of married couples have little to no sexual intimacy at all.
Having no sexual intimacy usually stems from couples growing apart in some way. Growing apart can be caused by unhealthy communication habits that lead to distance and the loss of intimacy.
The loss of intimacy can cause more issues to surface in the relationship making challenges more difficult to overcome.
When the Intimacy Stops in a Relationship
When you don’t prioritize quality time with your partner, the intimacy within your relationship can suffer.
Intimacy keeps you connected to your partner. You lose this valuable connection when you stop listening, understanding and trusting each other.
The everyday grind of work, home, and other responsibilities often times get in the way of sustaining intimacy in a relationship.
Once the intimacy is gone, it can be difficult to reconnect with your partner. Serious relationship issues can occur like infidelity, arguments, a lack of trust, and isolation. You’ll begin to feel angry, resentful, lonely or unappreciated.
Maintaining intimacy takes a great deal of work, but if you put forth the effort to reconnect, the benefits to your relationship will be worth it.
It’s important to always communicate and spend quality time with your partner. This should be your main priority.
Also, continue to share your thoughts, concerns and feelings with each other on a regular basis even when it’s difficult to do so.
This will help strengthen the foundation of your relationship as you reconnect and rebuild those intimate moments you once shared.
How to Reconnect with your Spouse Sexually
You must communicate constantly with your spouse to develop the type of intimacy that fulfills both spouses. Understanding and listening to each other builds authentic intimacy.
Intimacy can be emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual. You should work towards having them all, because the more intimacy you both share, the deeper your bond will become.
Establishing a deeper bond and reconnecting with your partner is about trying new ideas for sexual and non-sexual activities.
To reconnect on a physical level, you can try kissing, cuddling, hugging, dancing, holding hands, taking baths together or giving each other massages.
To reconnect on an emotional level, you can try these non-sexual intimacy ideas.
As you reconnect and grow closer to your spouse, intimacy will build over time. It can also fade over time as well, that’s why it’s important to continue to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences regularly with each other.
To learn more about building intimacy, download a free copy of The Marriage Repair Handbook, a guide specifically for couples looking for ways to improve their relationship.
Also, visit our resources page for additional ways to reconnect with your partner.