Marriage & Mental Health: How to Heal a Dysregulated Nervous System

When our nervous system is regulated, our health and our overall well-being are in good shape. However, on the other side, any dysfunction in our lives could lead to our nervous system becoming dysregulated. But, how do you know if your nervous system is dysregulated? And, more importantly, how do you heal it? Here are a few helpful tips and techniques on how to heal a dysregulated nervous system.

What is a Dysregulated Nervous System?

You can think of the nervous system as the body’s control center. It’s responsible for the connection and the communication between our brain, our spinal cord and our nerves. It also manages our thoughts, emotions, sensations and actions.

When our nervous system is regulated, our mental and physical health are in balance. When our nervous system is dysregulated, our mental and physical health are out of balance. Having a regulated nervous system is ideal, but due to stress, trauma, inadequate sleep or improper nutrition, our nervous system can become dysregulated.

When your nervous system is dysregulated, it negatively impacts how you think, how you feel and how you function.

Take a moment to reflect on these questions: Do you feel overwhelmed by anxiety in situations that most people find manageable? Do you feel constantly exhausted despite adequate rest? Do you struggle to focus, solve problems and make decisions? Do you have digestive issues like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), diarrhea or constipation?

If these issues sound familiar to you, it’s possible that you may have a dysregulated nervous system. It’s important to understand the signs and symptoms of having a dysregulated nervous system. When you understand the signs and symptoms, you are better equipped to identify the cause and effect of a dysregulated nervous system and the impact that it has on your life.

Signs and Symptoms

When your nervous system is dysregulated, you may experience several physical, emotional and behavioral challenges. Here are some signs and symptoms that may indicate that your nervous system is out of balance.

Physical Signs

  • Chronic fatigue (regardless of sleep or rest)
  • Muscle tension
  • Disturbed sleep (can include both insomnia and excessive sleepiness)
  • Changes in appetite (from undereating to overeating)
  • Digestive issues (IBS, constipation, GERD, etc)
  • Irregular heartbeats or heart palpitations
  • Headaches and migraines
  • Unexplained body aches and pain

Emotional Symptoms

  • Anxiety
  • Panic attacks
  • Depression
  • Mood swings and difficulty controlling emotions
  • Difficulty concentrating and lack of focus
  • Brain fog

Behavioral Signs

  • Overreacting in stressful situations
  • Changes in eating patterns (eating too much or too little)
  • Withdrawing from social interactions
  • Dependence on alcohol and substances to cope
  • Reduced interest in previously enjoyable activities

These are common signs and symptoms of having a dysregulated nervous system. However, these symptoms may also indicate other health issues. It’s best to get a medical assessment to receive a proper diagnosis and treatment.

How to Heal a Dysregulated Nervous System

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing a nervous system. The methods for healing a nervous system may be different for each person. Here are a few methods that may help you heal your nervous system:

·        Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

When you practice mindfulness and meditation, you start with creating a relaxing and calming environment for yourself. Then, you observe your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations in the present moment. Don’t negatively react to your thoughts and emotions or judge them.

Once you identify your emotions, feel them fully, accept them, then release them. Over time, mindfulness can reduce stress levels, promote relaxation and foster a state of calmness.

Practicing mindfulness and meditation helps you realize how your thoughts and feelings affect you. It enables you to recognize stressors and navigate challenges with greater ease and composure.

·        Try Yoga and Tai Chi

Traditional activities such as yoga and Tai chi can be great tools to help balance the nervous system. These activities are effective at reducing stress and creating harmony between the body and the mind. Practicing yoga and Tai chi encourages relaxation and calmness by helping you focus on your breathing and your awareness.

Slow, deep breathing can help you relax and ease tension in the body. When our brain perceives a threat, we tend to hold our breath and stop breathing. This triggers sensations such as pain, fear, stiffness, or anxiety. Deep breathing techniques in yoga and Tai chi helps to improve your attention levels and your self-awareness which aids in healing your nervous system.

·        Get Quality Sleep

When your nervous system is not in balance, you may spend your nights tossing and turning in bed, waking up in the middle of the night and struggling to fall back asleep. To overcome this, try establishing a bedtime routine. A bedtime routine can include taking a bath, meditating, quiet reading, listening to soothing music and going to bed at the same time every night.

Make sure to aim for at least seven to nine hours of sleep each night. When you get enough quality sleep, it strengthens your immune system and rids the brain of toxins. While you sleep, your brain forms new neural pathways that are necessary for learning, memory retention and creating new memories.

·        Exercise Regularly

Aerobic exercises like walking, swimming, and cycling can be great tools for regulating your nervous system. It also stimulates the production of endorphins which are chemicals in the brain that reduce pain and discomfort.

Exercising keeps the mind and the body fit. It is also a mood-booster with long-lasting effects. After exercising, the brain also releases dopamine which are chemicals that increase the feelings of pleasure and motivation. The more you exercise, the more dopamine your brain releases.

Exercising regularly improves the brain’s ability to regulate stress and anxiety, resulting in a more balanced nervous system.

·        Eat Healthy Meals

High-quality foods can help heal your nervous system by reducing inflammation and improving brain function. Eating high-quality foods also help to elevate your mood and energy levels.

High-quality foods consist of black beans, lentils, spinach, kale, rice, oats, nuts, berries and apples. These are just a few examples of healthy foods, but there are many healthy foods that can be incorporated into your meals.

As you change your eating habits, avoid foods that contain large amounts of saturated fats and sugars, such as “junk food”. Junk food can negatively affect your physical health and your mental health.

The goal is to consume a healthy balance of nutrients that support a healthy nervous system and promote a better overall well-being.  

·        Enjoy Self-Care

To help heal your nervous system, it’s important to prioritize time to take care of yourself. When you take good care of yourself, you have a better overall sense of well-being. Self-care activities help your mind and body cope with daily stressors. Having a self-care routine also calms and balances your nervous system. With a balanced nervous system, your body releases tension, stress and negative emotions.

Different forms of self-care include practicing hobbies and exploring your interests. Doing things that you enjoy relaxes and recharges your nervous system. Try singing, dancing or playing a musical instrument. You can also try reading a book or writing in a journal.

The idea is to feel rejuvenated and better equipped to manage the highs and lows of life. You may feel rejuvenated after going to the spa or going to the salon. The key is to keep yourself, your mind and your body in good shape to maintain a regulated nervous system.

·        Find Positive People

The type of people that you surround yourself with can affect your nervous system. When you surround yourself with positive people, your mood is lifted, your mind and body are at peace, and your view of yourself and the world are seen in a positive light.

Positive people, positive thinking and positive habits may decrease stress and strengthen your immune system. Positivity may also lessen the occurrence of loneliness, depression and anxiety.

Positive people are those who focus on happy thoughts, inner calmness and life satisfaction. Having this type of attitude diminishes negative feelings and behaviors. Surrounding yourself with positive people can provide you with a community to connect with emotionally. Positive people can also offer emotional support and helpful advice to help you navigate life’s ups and downs.

·        Seek Out Therapy

Psychotherapy is a collaborative treatment between an individual and their psychologist. This treatment provides helpful tools for processing traumatic experiences until they no longer cause distress or discomfort.

When traumatic events occur, it may feel safer to avoid reminders and avoid talking about what happened. But, avoiding the issue won’t help, because living with unresolved trauma can cause the nervous system to become dysregulated.

If trauma is affecting your nervous system, there are different types of therapy that can help to heal a dysregulated nervous system. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) helps to regulate the nervous system by reprocessing memories and feelings linked to trauma.

By changing negative thinking patterns and processing painful experiences, your mind and body can release those painful memories. Those experiences will no longer control your thoughts and your life. Alternative therapies such as acupuncture, massage therapy, art therapy and music therapy can also help process painful experiences and facilitate the healing of the nervous system.

Summary

A dysregulated nervous system impacts both our mental and physical well-being. Recognizing when your nervous system is out of balance and taking steps to heal your nervous system is crucial for maintaining overall health.

Knowing how to heal your nervous system allows you to identify when you need to relax, workout, eat healthier, take a break, sleep better or seek support.

Make self-care your priority and seek professional guidance to help you navigate the steps on your healing journey.

If you’re married or in a romantic relationship with someone who is struggling with a dysregulated nervous system, please download our Marriage Repair Handbook and visit our resources page.






Disclaimer: This article is provided as general information, not medical or clinical advice, and may not reflect the unique circumstances in your situation. It does not create a therapeutic or doctor-patient relationship, and it’s not a substitute for seeking medical care. This site is a collection of articles that act as part of an advertising network for a marriage course. Do not take action based on this article without seeking medical advice from a physician or other qualified health care provider.