When you think of flirting, what comes to mind? Many times, men think of flirting as a means to an end, a way to get the girl to fall for them, and that’s it. But what if I told you that flirting was so much more. In fact, learning how to flirt with your wife is one of the keys to sustaining a happy and healthy marriage.
Men flirt with women as an expression of attraction; it’s a natural response when you find yourself attracted to attract someone. In general, men tend to think that once they’ve made their feelings known, there’s no reason to continue talking about or expressing them. This mindset works fine for men, but it’s more complex for women.
A woman’s mind is full of multiple thoughts, feelings, and emotions all happening at once. You can assume a woman always has the equivalent of fifteen different tabs opened in her mind at once. She’s thinking about what chores need to be done while worrying about the bills, planning dinner, and wondering how she can fit a shower in simultaneously.
While this high capacity to multi-task is beneficial for ensuring the household runs smoothly and the kids are cared for, it can work against her when dealing with relationships. Her capacity to overthink is what makes flirting so vital in marriage. When you stop acting like you’re attracted to her, she’ll start thinking you no longer desire and, in effect, love her. The truth is, women need to feel loved to believe they’re loved, and it must be an ongoing act.
Why Is Flirting So Important?
Flirting is essential, because it reassures your wife that she’s loved and she feels loved. Flirting is an essential part of marriage, and it plays a huge role in other aspects of your marriage as well.
Keeps the Spark Alive
There’s nothing better than the spark that comes with a new romance. The feeling of butterflies when she walks in, the excitement of learning new things about her, and exploring each other’s bodies. This excitement is often lost after the “honeymoon” phase, and we begin letting the stressors of life take over.
Regardless of how long you’ve been together, flirting can reignite the spark and make you feel like teenagers again. Wouldn’t it be nice to look forward to seeing your wife when you get home or enjoy spending the morning in bed together?
Helps Create Loving Memories
Marriages fall apart because couples become disconnected and end up going in different directions. Flirting is a way to help you both stay connected and remember what you love about each other. It brings out your fun side and lets you enjoy the little things again. Do you remember how amazing your wife’s smile is? Or how contagious it is when she laughs? Flirting is the perfect way to bring back sweet memories you can cherish forever.
Releases Serotonin
Serotonin is your happy hormone, and when it’s low, so are you! Flirting can help activate the production of serotonin in your brain, giving you a feeling of excitement and overall well-being. The more serotonin you have, the happier you feel, which is another reason why flirting with your wife is so beneficial!
How to Flirt With Your Wife
Now that you know how vital flirting with your wife is to your marriage, you may wonder how you’re supposed to do it. For many married men, they can’t remember the last time they flirted. The good news is, getting back into the swing of flirting isn’t hard; the bad news is, it may take some time. Don’t worry if your wife doesn’t respond right away, especially if it’s been years since you tried to flirt with her. Start small, and as time goes on, you’ll notice her enjoying it more and more!
Compliment Her
Compliments are an excellent way to begin flirting again since they have an immediate effect. Women love when their husbands compliment them because it shows they’re taking the time to notice and appreciate her. You can compliment the way she looks, like her hair or makeup, clothes, or how she makes you feel. Make an effort to pay attention to the little things she does, and tell her how much you appreciate them; a little effort can go a long way.
Laugh with Her
Did you joke around a lot when you were younger, or when your relationship was new, and now you rarely laugh together at all? Rediscover how amazing it feels to make jokes and how it can make even dull days more fun. Don’t worry about coming up with anything fancy; many times, the best jokes are actually the worst ones! Why not make a game out of it and see who can make the worst dad jokes, or see who can make the other laugh first. Soon you’ll find you’re both having a great time and enjoying each other’s company.
Get Closer to Her
Rediscovering the power of touch is an excellent way to flirt with your wife. Depending on her personality, this can look different for each relationship. If her love language is physical touch, she may thrive from increased physical contact, but if she appreciates her own space, this may not be the best flirting tactic.
You can start small with a light caress on the shoulder as you walk by or gently caress her cheek when you’re talking. If she’s open to it, hold her hand, hug her, and kiss her to show her you still find her attractive. Whatever the comfort level between the two of you, incorporating physical touch is a great way to flirt!
Be Romantic towards Her
Keeping the romance alive in your marriage is essential to ensuring you both are happy. Think back to when you were dating, how you would go out of your way to buy her flowers or surprise her with a special gift. Those acts made her feel loved and cherished, but chances are, over the years, you’ve stopped doing them.
Up your game and challenge yourself to be more romantic. Book a weekend getaway, have a fancy dinner together, or get in the car and go exploring. It doesn’t have to be expensive; as long as you go together and reconnect, that’s all that matters.
Flirting with your wife doesn’t have to be a complicated process. The goal is to make her feel loved and adored, and show her how much she means to you. Extravagant gestures are great, but often it’s the small things like noticing her haircut or thanking her for everything she does that makes the biggest difference.
The more you flirt, the easier it will be, and your wife will appreciate you for it. If you need more insightful tips to improve your marriage, our Marriage Repair Handbook and our blog are also available as resources.