If you find yourself thinking, “My wife won’t stop spending money”, it’s time to sit down, take a deep breath, and help her grasp a better understanding of financial literacy. Financial difficulties and disagreements are some of the most common issues that threaten marriages.
Many people are not financially responsible and do not have good examples of money management around them. Because of this, some people may have developed poor spending and saving habits. As long as both of you are open to an honest conversation and have the willingness to make changes, you can fix this problem before it’s too late.
The Best Way to Approach Her Spending Habits
You and your wife are partners in your marriage, and that includes everything from dinner choices to vacation planning and managing money. Even if your mind is screaming, “My wife won’t stop spending money!” you must approach the issue together with patience and understanding.
Start by having a discussion about the lifestyle you wish to have and establish financial goals around the lifestyle you’d like to achieve. This discussion should lay the foundation for how you plan to build your future together.
Understand What Causes Her Spending Habits
Poor role models or bad habits can hinder the ability to learn smart money management. Many people have an emotional connection to shopping or spending money. The reasons can vary, including a compulsive disorder, low self-esteem, addiction, or self-control issues.
When talking to your wife about money, listen to her and understand her reasons for her continuous spending habits. Her reasons may stem from underlying issues that will need to be addressed in order to improve your financial situation.
If discussing finances proves to be difficult, a therapist can help you avoid becoming overwhelmed or ashamed of any personal mistakes or errors. Also, our Marriage Repair Handbook provides useful tips to further improve your finances.
Communicate With Her Without Pointing Blame
Remember that your marriage is a partnership, both of your feelings and opinions about shared finances are important. Communicate effectively by listening and learning rather than voicing frustration or attempting to control everything. Important topics of conversation and education include:
- Credit reports and scores
- Investment opportunities and retirement funding
- Long-term expenses for the home, vehicles, and children
- Tax responsibility
- Debt and repayment issues
Discuss these topics to ensure you and your wife have a mutual understanding of your current financial situation and any improvements that can be made.
Create Financial Goals Based on Mutual Interests
Some expenses are necessary and nonnegotiable. Such as, having enough money to pay your bills or saving for emergencies and retirement. Begin to work together as a team to align your finances with the goals you have created together.
For example, you may want to save for a child’s education, an amazing vacation, a new vehicle or necessary home repairs. Prioritize which goals are most important to you both and then begin saving money towards those goals.
Track Your Income and Expenses
Knowing how much money you have coming in and how much money is going out is the first step towards improving your finances. It all starts by recording your expenses for a month or two to see where the money goes.
This may be quite eye-opening for your wife who may shop without a clear picture of how much she is spending. Figure out which expenses are necessary and unnecessary, then decide on any changes that need to be made.
If you still find yourself complaining, “My wife won’t stop spending money”, take action before things get worse. Sit down and discuss what financial literacy means, how you can save for desired goals and how to make wiser decisions together.
Then, step back and understand that you have no control over your spouse, but you can always have a discussion to express your concerns and work towards a better future together. Our Marriage Repair Handbook is also available as a resource to provide insightful tips to improve your marriage.