When someone you love breaks your heart, forgiveness may seem like the most difficult thing in the world. You feel betrayed, cheated, and abandoned. It can be hard to see the good in someone who hurt you so deeply. But, if you want to learn how to forgive someone who broke your heart, it helps to get to a place of forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not mean that you must forget what happened or condone the bad behavior. It simply means that you choose to let go of the anger and resentment you feel towards the person who hurt you.
This process can take a lot of time, patience, and self-reflection. These tips will help you to move on with your life in a more positive way and live your life in a more positive manner.
Make the Decision to Forgive
Before you can forgive someone, you need to make the decision to allow this feeling into your heart. Forgiveness won’t change what happened, but it will help you mend your heart. It is very difficult to get over hurt feelings whether it stems from cheating, betrayal, or abuse. The pain seems like it will never go away.
But remember, don’t dwell on the past, it won’t change anything. The most important thing to concern yourself with is the PRESENT, and the most important person to concern yourself with is YOU. It is in your best interest to find a better path forward, and set forgiveness as a goal to work toward.
Ask for an Explanation
When it’s safe to do so and the other person is open to a conversation, give them a chance to explain their side of the story. Listen and attempt to understand their point of view. Understand as best you can for your own benefit, but there is no pressure to remain in the relationship.
Reconciliation does not mean you must stay with them no matter what. This process should offer steps to make amends or steps to end the relationship. Either way, you should receive closure for everything that you have gone through. Do not move forward if they have ever attempted to harm you physically or emotionally.
Spend Time Apart
If you have ever been harmed physically or emotionally, give yourself a break from the emotions associated with interacting with the other person. You need time and space to reflect on how you were treated and how to set boundaries to avoid these behaviors in the future.
Shutting off contact and blocking them on your phone gives you time and space to process emotions and make a plan for forgiveness. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with your life. There is no timeline for how long it takes to forgive someone who broke your heart, so be patient and take as much time as you need.
Focus on Self-Care
It is difficult to avoid wallowing in your feelings after someone breaks your heart. This makes forgiveness even harder. Take time for yourself and get involved with fun activities instead. Pick up a new hobby, go on a mini vacation, spend time with friends and family, or take a class and meet someone new.
Take care of yourself so you can stay well physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s important to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself. It means doing things to take care of your mind, body, and soul by engaging in activities that promote well-being and less stress. These positive actions can reduce the pain of betrayal and help you work through forgiveness comfortably.
Seek Professional Help
How you feel after someone breaks your heart is valid and expected. Healthy ways of processing emotions include journaling, allowing yourself to think about the experience, talking things over with close friends or family members, and even getting help from a therapist or counselor.
All of these steps are a part of how to forgive someone who broke your heart. Another important part of the process is to forgive yourself for whatever mistakes you have made in the situation. When you make forgiveness your goal and focus on these methods, you have a better chance of moving forward towards a more positive life full of confidence and comfort.
If you need more insightful tips on relationships, our blog and our Marriage Repair Handbook are also available as resources.