Why Do People Lie in Relationships?

Quality relationships are built on trust. When someone lies to their partner, that trust is broken along with the foundation of the relationship. This can have serious consequences that immediately affect the bond that has already been established as well as the future you have planned together. Understanding why people lie can help determine how to move forward in a relationship.

Lying is a response to a problem in the relationship. There are many reasons why men and women choose to be dishonest rather than speak the truth. Once you understand this, it may be possible to identify risk factors and prevent problems before they start.

Download a free copy of The Marriage Repair Handbook, a guide specifically for couples looking for ways to improve their relationship. Also, visit our resources page for additional ways to rekindle the spark in your relationship.

Top Reasons People Lie in Relationships

There are several reasons why people lie to their partner. Sometimes, it’s to protect the other person from knowing about something that may hurt them.

Other times, it’s because they do not feel comfortable communicating and sharing with the other person in the relationship. Perhaps they do not have the communication skills necessary to speak openly and effectively.

In some cases, people get a thrill out of lying and enjoy this type of risk-taking. In other cases, people are selfish and only care about themselves and have no regard for other people’s feelings. These mindsets are generally incompatible with healthy, long-term relationships.

Why Do Men Lie in Relationships?

In most cases, they do so to cover up mistakes and avoid getting in trouble. Men are conditioned throughout life to present themselves as strong and reliable. If anything happens that threatens those traits, covering it up with a lie may seem like a good idea to them.

Why Do Women Lie in Relationships?

Women, who frequently feel pressure to be the peacemakers and in charge of emotional stability in relationships, are more likely to lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or make themselves look better in the eyes of their partner.

Different Types of Relationship Lies

Dishonesty comes in different levels of severity and importance. So-called white lies may not be 100% honest, but the intention behind them focuses on protecting someone else’s feelings.

Many people feel compelled to lie in the early stages of the relationship, because they want to give the best impression of themselves as possible. They want to hide their flaws to avoid being seen in a negative light.

Lying by omission is another tactic that people use to make themselves look better or to prevent the other person from getting hurt.

These can include everything from not talking about spending habits or debt to going out for drinks with a coworker. This type of dishonesty is most often used to avoid conflict and difficult conversations.

No matter why people lie in relationships, it demonstrates a lack of trust and an inability to communicate effectively. Avoiding conflict does not make it go away, nor does it allow the bond to grow naturally in a positive direction.

Learning how to talk about anything in an honest and open matter is an essential part of having a healthy relationship that lasts. Also, learning how to tell if your partner is lying is essential to revealing any problems in your relationship.