Is your marriage crumbling before your eyes, and you feel like there’s no way to stop it? Maybe you feel like all you do is fight, and you just want some relief from the constant pain it brings.
Do you want your marriage to survive but feel like it’s too late, there’s no way to keep it from ending in divorce?
If one of these statements describes you, your marriage can be saved. Download a free copy of The Marriage Repair Handbook, a guide specifically for couples on the fence about staying married or getting a divorce. Also, visit our resources page for additional information on how to save your marriage.
Many couples see divorce as a way out, as if it will end the pain you feel. Divorce is not easy by any means. In many cases, it comes with its own set of problems, pain and stress.
The reality is that divorce doesn’t take away the pain; it just causes a different type of pain. You and your spouse got married for a reason; your story is as unique as you are. The road to reconciliation is long and difficult, but it’s worth fighting for.
Right now, you may be feeling hopeless, helpless, and defeated, because you have a heavy weight on your heart. But, if you’re willing to put forth an effort, you can have a happy and fulfilling marriage again.
Your marriage is only over when you stop trying.
The most effective way to combat divorce is for couples to stop trying to fight against it and instead focus on building their marriage into something beautiful and enduring. There are eight different mechanisms that are at play in your marriage, and listed below is a Marriage Checklist that you can use to help identify and address each one.
- Conflict
Contrary to popular belief, conflict is actually good for your marriage. Use conflict to help develop intimacy, vulnerability and trust. Deal with conflict in a way that shows the problem areas in your marriage and actively work to repair them.
- Sex
Sex is one of the most amazing parts of marriage, and it is vital to creating a connection between you and your spouse that is unlike anything else. It also happens to be a significant area that causes division, leading to bitterness and resentment. Identify the potential problems surrounding sex within your marriage and resolve them.
- Opinion
Opinions are one of the biggest sources of tension in interpersonal relationships, but they are also some of the easiest to solve. Everyone has their own opinions that are formed by our interactions with the world around us. Understand why having different opinions is good and how not to allow those differences to hurt your marriage.
- Expectations
We develop expectations to gain control over our relationships and our lives. The problem is that when those expectations aren’t met, we are left feeling disappointed. Manage your expectations within your marriage so you won’t be disappointed with your partner.
- Money
One of the main areas of contention in relationships is money. If one spouse makes more than the other, or if there are feelings that one side isn’t holding up their end of the bargain, it can cause serious strain on your marriage. It’s important to remember that money isn’t your fuel; love is. You didn’t get married because you wanted your spouse’s money (at least, let’s hope not). You got married because you loved them and wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. Learn how money affects your marriage and how you can avoid allowing it to pull you apart.
- Children
Kids are a stressor in every relationship, no matter the circumstances or how they behave. If you and your spouse disagree on certain fundamental parenting tactics, it can cause strife and lead to anger and bitterness. Learn how to be more open-minded and compromise with your spouse to avoid letting disagreements about your child-rearing pull you apart.
- Romance And Affection
Romance and affection are essential for a marriage to thrive, and without either one, it can’t run smoothly. Both men and women desire romance and affection from their partners, even if they show it in different ways. Couples commonly stop making romantic gestures towards one another, leaving each other feeling unloved and unworthy. Learning and acting on each other’s love languages will establish a deeper connection within your marriage and bring the two of you closer together.
- The Past
The past is something we all have to deal with, and it can often causes problems in our present. Although you can’t control what your past looks like, you can stop it from ruining your present and your future with your spouse. It’s important to understand you and your partner’s past, but at the same time, don’t dwell on it. Don’t use the past as a weapon against your spouse. Try to understand, forgive and keep the past from affecting your marriage presently and in the future.
Marriage is Hard, and Divorce is Hard
Marriage is hard divorce is hard, but your marriage is worth fighting for. As long as you keep working at it, and never give up, it’s never too late. Download a free copy of The Marriage Repair Handbook to learn the key concepts to save your dying marriage. Also, visit our resources page for more techniques that will help breathe life back into your marriage.