All marriages have their ups and downs, but when you start having thoughts such as, “my wife is boring”, or “I’m bored with my wife. What should I do?”, you may wonder if you’ll feel this way forever. Marriage isn’t always exciting or spontaneous, and often times you may find yourself in a rut. You may even ask yourself, “Why is my wife so boring in bed”?
Remember that intimacy can be expressed in different ways, and everyone’s preferences are different. Your wife is no exception. You can encourage her to try different things, and you should also be patient with her and show her some grace.
The daily grind of life can cause couples to lose sight of the importance of spending quality time together and creating precious memories. If you’re feeling bored, try to understand the specific cause of the issue so that you can get your marriage back in a place of love, fun, and excitement. Ask yourself these questions to gain clarity from your wife’s perspective.
How is my wife feeling?
Check in on your wife to understand how she is feeling. Ask her about her emotions and how she’s been doing lately. Has she been feeling happy, excited, indifferent, sad or angry? Listen to her without passing judgment or criticism. This is a moment to truly see if she’s feeling her best or if she has any unresolved issues, worries, or concerns. Let her speak her truth without being blamed, shamed or judged.
Doing this helps to create an environment where your wife feels safe enough to share her innermost thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge her feelings and find a resolution, if possible. The goal is to reach a mutual understanding and to ensure that your wife feels seen, heard, understood and appreciated.
However, if you’ve had several conversations with your wife, and there are still lingering issues, then maybe it’s time to have a deeper conversation.
Are we growing apart?
Growing apart can be a tough challenge for couples to overcome. Both of you have changed since you got married, and it’s difficult to maintain the close bond that you began with. You’re not dating each other as much as you once did. You’re not sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other as much as you did before.
You may start to realize that both of you are evolving and growing but in different directions. Growing apart can create distance and cause a loss of intimacy and connection within your marriage.
It takes work to avoid this from happening. You have to decide that your marriage is worth saving and then put in the work to save it.
What else can I do?
Constant communication followed up by immediate action is the key to saving your marriage. You also have to be adaptable and open-minded. Open your mind to more than just what makes you happy. Also consider your wife’s ideas and the things that bring her joy.
Before you start having thoughts such as, “I’m bored with my wife. What should I do?”, remember that it takes two people to create a fun, exciting and happy marriage.
When you approach every obstacle as a team, it will take you further than trying to solve problems on your own. Marriage is a partnership where two people give their best effort towards making it work.
Download a FREE copy of our eBook, The Marriage Repair Handbook. Review more of our helpful resources to help you achieve a fulfilling and life-long marriage.