Whether you’ve been married for five years or for fifty years, you’ve probably thought about how to get your wife in the mood at some point during your marriage. It’s common to discover that the exciting spark of romance with your wife has diminished. The honeymoon period where you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other has become a thing of the past.
Day-to-day life routines and responsibilities have overshadowed the excitement and newness you once felt in your relationship. You no longer feel the same spark you once did. As time passes, the distance between the two of you becomes greater. When this happens, it can lead to feelings of resentment, discontent, and, in worst cases, it can lead to divorce.
The good news is that you don’t have to settle for a burned-out spark; it is possible to reignite the passion you and your wife once shared. It will take work, but you can re-discover the desire and intensity you once had for each other.
Let’s take a look at some of the best ways you can explore how to get your wife in the mood, so you can experience the passion you both shared in the beginning.
Acknowledge You’re in A Rut
Before you can make any changes, it’s important to acknowledge that you and your wife are in a romantic rut. Examine your relationship and ask yourself questions like, when was the last time you spent quality time together? Do you feel emotionally connected to your wife? Do you share intimate moments outside the bedroom? If intimacy is an issue, there are ways to overcome it.
Prioritize Intimacy
Intimacy is one area of your marriage that you should never neglect, because it is vital towards maintaining a deep and meaningful connection to your wife. Over time, couples begin to prioritize intimacy less and less often due to stress, fatigue, hormones, other obligations, etc.
It’s important to note that intimacy is a physical and emotional connection. When your wife feels safe and supported emotionally, she will be much more inclined towards having sex, but this process can take time.
As you rekindle your emotional connection, the physical connection will follow. If necessary, be sure to put a designated time on your calendar when you both can come together to share your thoughts and feelings (both good and bad).
Remember The Beginning
One of the best ways to reignite the romance in your marriage is to remember the beginning of your relationship and the feelings you first had for your wife. It’s never too late to begin dating your wife again and showing her affection.
It’s also the perfect time to start flirting with each other again. It can be simple acts like bringing her flowers, sending a sweet letter or text message, bringing her lunch at work or taking her out to her favorite place.
Do Something That Makes You Both Uncomfortable
Comfort zones are where romance goes to die, so doing an activity that makes you both excited to try something new is an excellent way to bond. Try something that you’ve always wanted to do and experience it together. Maybe it’s taking dance classes, skydiving, snorkeling, or even going on a road trip. Creating new memories together deepens and strengthens your bond with each other.
Check In With Each Other Routinely
Communication is the key to any lasting marriage, which is why you should take the time to routinely check in with your wife and see how she is doing. Take five to ten minutes every night to remove all distractions and ask her how she’s doing emotionally and mentally.
These incredibly important conversations rarely begin organically, which is why designating a few minutes every day to reconnect is essential to making your wife feel safe and loved.
On top of your daily check-ins, schedule weekly, monthly, or even yearly times when the two of you sit down together. Use this time to talk about your relationship, career goals and dreams. These sessions are also the perfect time to discuss any grievances you may have that are causing a disconnect, which can lead to conflict and distance.
Be Affectionate
Affection is a vital part of marriage, but it’s also different for everyone. Understanding how your wife responds to affection will help you satisfy her need to feel loved and desired. Don’t be afraid to try something new. You can try holding her hand in public, kissing her before you leave for work, or putting your arm around her as you watch TV. Affection is attention, and your wife will appreciate feeling desired and prioritized as you show her how proud you are to be her husband.
Practice Self-Care
Taking time to focus on your own interests and practicing self-care can help you become a better partner for your wife. When you fill your own mental and emotional tank, you will have the capacity to pour into hers.
It’s also important to have your own friends to talk to and confide in; just be sure you never say anything to disparage or tear down your partner. By having your own interests and hobbies, you will both appreciate the quality time you spend together. This will improve your relationship and deepen your appreciation for each other.
Surprise Her
Surprising your wife with gifts shows her that you care, and it’s an excellent way to reignite your romance. It can be something big, like a bucket-list trip to a place that she’s always wanted to visit. It could also be something small, like making sure dinner is ready when she gets home.
Women want to feel appreciated and shown they are loved, which is why planning a surprise is such a powerful and effective way to spark romance in your marriage. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box and take her hobbies into consideration. The more thoughtful the surprise, the more it will mean to her.
Redecorate Your Room
Having a space that encourages romance is essential to maintaining your newly lit spark, so why not consider doing a bedroom makeover? Creating a new space will help you both feel refreshed. It will also act as a new beginning to the passionate, romance-filled marriage you’ve worked so hard to create.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money; DIY renovations only require some paint, creativity, and elbow grease. Working together will give you a sense of accomplishment and help you create fun memories in your brand-new romantic bedroom.
If the spark has died in your marriage, you’re not alone. While it’s normal to find yourself in a rut, you don’t have to stay there. These tips will help you reconnect with your wife and re-discover the breathtaking romance you once shared. Also, our Marriage Repair Handbook provides helpful tips towards creating a fulfilling marriage you both will treasure.